I have friends who are complaining about that their spouses aren’t up for it often enough. We’re talking about guys who would like to have sex with their better halves three, four times a week and their wives are up for it once or twice month.
A big problem in compatibility, right? Which could lead to a lot of friction and anger, many times it does spill over to other areas and it could infect the whole relationship.
In this post I’ll present ways to improve your relationship with your better half by improve your appearance, smell, and as a bonus you will get more sex, hopefully. It requires a big chunk of self-awareness and a will to change. Are you up for the challenge?
First you need to look out through your wife’s/girlfriend’s window. Would you have hot passionate sex with yourself (No, playing with your self doesn’t count as hot passionate sex.) consider how you look, dress, and smell today? This is just your appearance, the cover of the book, but important. It could make the difference getting your wife turned on or turned off on top of everything else.
If you have been together for five, ten years or even longer things could get a bit boring. You might have gained 30-50 pounds. You dress the same as you did fifteen, twenty years ago, maybe even worse. A ten year old faded promotional t-shirt and track pants. You think after shave/eau de toilet isn’t needed because you not going out to meet new women. You’re safe in your relationship and don’t really make an effort to look and smell good. As a rational to that you might say; “why should I make an effort when my wife at home is walking around in baggy jogging pants, grannie undies, undone hair, sweatshirt and crocs?”
You should! And by modeling you don’t need to nag your wife which might have the opposite effect and lead to irritation. You should show, lead the way and your wife will follow, maybe not immediately but be patient. That’s human behavior AND wait with buying her those sexy lingerie until she happy to use it. That is one of the last steps. If you skip steps it most likely will backfire. Now, I’ll address these three areas more in detail.
1. Your weight
Let’s start by looking at your weight, do you need to loose weight? We are not talking about 10- 15 pounds here, no if you way 20 pounds or more than you should it could be a contributing factor if you get to exercise enough in the bedroom or not. We are all different how we feel about our partner’s weight gain. Some don’t mind it and for others it is a big turn off. This isn’t easy to discuss, very sensitive area for most people.
The best way is to be honest and tactful. Pick a good time to discuss it, when you both can sit down without getting interrupted. Your better half doesn’t want to hurt your feelings so it could be hard for her to be honest. If you’re the only one with the extra cushioning around the waist you start the talk by saying something like: “I would like do discuss my weight and it’s important that you are honest.” Then you could ask her what she thinks in general about your extra pounds. She might view her concerns about your health and avoid to answer if it’s a problem for her in bed. You both walking on a thin line her so whatever she says don’t get offended, remember you asked and would like to get more sex and improve you relationship. As I mentioned before you need self awareness and don’t begin this discussion until you’re ready.
This could lead to a great motivator for you to loose weight and adopt a healthier lifestyle.
Hair & Nails
How is your hair and beard, are you well groomed? Does it reflect that you bother even if you have long hair or and a big beard? I met an former friend whom I haven't seen for twenty years. The first thing he did was to make an comment that I had a mustache. I responded by comment that he had a full beard. He said; "oh, it will be shaved off soon". This guy is single, has no intension to meet a woman and he doesn't bother to shave every day. He just let it grow and shaves it off every second or third week.
If you work with your hands and get dirty, do you clean your hands and finger nails properly after work?
...to be continued
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